There are some 100 million automobiles in the country. Based on my own personal observations, 99% of their owners don’t know how to park. I am not talking about parallel parking at the side of a street, next to the curb. Virtually everyone knows how to do that. In order to get a license in the first place, they had to demonstrate proficiency with that maneuver. Two or three tries, and the least skilled of us can manage without going up on the sidewalk or sticking too far out into the thoroughfare.
No, I am talking about parking that ought to be a lot easier: moving in to a parking slot perpendicular to the wall in a parking garage, or the demarcation barrier between you and the automobile in front of you, that are featured in most shopping mall parking lots. (If you can pull in at an angle, that is much easier, but I am not discussing that). I have seen all too many motorists go back and forth, in forward gear and then in reverse, some half dozen times, and still not be able to park fully perpendicularly to the barrier they face, and not leave an equal amount of room on both sides of their vehicle, the presumed goal of the entire exercise.
I don’t know how many man-hours are wasted in this process. If I had to guess, it would be that our GDP would be a small but significant 1% higher than it actually is, if people just learned how to park. Seriously. This is the problem that dare not say its name! Who wants to admit they can’t park?
Thus, parking 101. The key element is not the front of the car, as all too many people seem to think, but rather the rear end. The latter is what has to be lined up with the space you are aiming at, not the former. So, what to do? What to do is to aim, not at the spot you wish to occupy, but, paradoxically, at the one just beyond it!
Consider the following. There are 10 parking spots ahead of you. They are numbered one to ten, with number 1 closest to you, number 10 furthest away. Aha. You now see an empty spot. It is stall number 6. Do not aim at 6, no matter how natural that appears to you. That is precisely the fallacy under which many people operate. Instead, make believe you want to part at the one beyond it, number 7. I know, I know, there is already a car parked in that precise spot, and if you keep going, you’ll crash into to. Shut up and do what I say! That is, make believe you want stall 7. Go forward to within a foot or so of that vehicle. That will locate your rear end precisely where it should be: opposite, and right near to, your real target, empty space #6. Then, back up, with your steering wheel turned in the opposite direction in which you wish, ultimately, to go. That is, if your empty stall was to the right as you initially approached the 10 parking spaces, steer to the left as you back up. On the other hand, if your empty stall was to the left as you initially approached the 10 parking spaces, then steer to the right as you now move in reverse gear. Keep going until you are perfectly aligned with your goal, and then move in, go forward, in one fell swoop. Viola! Success! No more to-ing and fro-ing.
Read more of Walter Block’s work on his Substack.
Featured: Beach Parking Lot, by James Williamson, cover, Saturday Evening Post, August 1, 1959.
